Feeling Myself

In the western world, we are waging a war. You could call it a civil war: human versus human. The authorities and the experts getting involved. Everyone picking a side. We're feeling change like an earthquake, rumbling slowly through the ground and then creating waves.

It's the body positivity war.

The "every woman is beautiful" versus the bronzed, blonde, goddess on the cover of a magazine. The plus-sized models making the headlines versus the diet pills being churned out of the internet. The taboo that you can't discuss a fat person's size, but you can walk up to a thin person and say, "you're so skinny!" The "love yourself" versus the "lose weight," the "you're perfect the way you are" versus the "you're disgusting," and let's not ignore the silent killer that roots itself in your brain, that whispers promise of strength and beauty, of achieving perfection - "saying no, thank-you, to food is saying yes, please, to skinny" - Anorexia nervosa, a valid mental illness that kills more of its sufferers then any other psychological condition, four times more likely to result in death than major depression.

I'm sorry for the brutality and bluntness of that last paragraph, but that's our reality. We live in an era where you can pay for doctors to suck the fat right off you, but you also can't walk into a supermarket devoid of processed, sugar-based products lacking any real nutrition. We promote healthy eating and exercise, building a balanced lifestyle, but we don't educate our children to fully understand what that means. We accuse the salad-lovers of eating rabbit food, while some female Olympians are accused of being "too manly". The stereotypes surrounding men and women today have become so narrow that they can't possibly allow for the diversity we see in human beings.

Source: http://losinghopeinthislonelyworld.tumblr.com

But it is my opinion that body positivity is here to save us. As Niina so elegantly put it, body positivity isn't here to romanticise obesity. I think it teaches us to appreciate our body for what it is, no matter what it looks like, before we think about what we want. The human body is fucking fantastic. Among so many brilliant facts, one nerve cell in your body can produce up to 1000 electrical impulses per second; your bones can dissolve themselves to release the calcium you need to contract your muscles; and your brain has the most organised blood supply in your body, so brain tissue always gets priority and it never overheats. You have multiple mechanisms to regulate your heartbeat; your reflexes mean that you can step off lego bricks and remove your hand from a hotplate without any input from your brain; and your ear turns sound energy into kinetic energy and then into electrical energy, and your brain can still make out words and chords and crashing waves even after all that. All that is pre-written from the day you were a single cell, and you can do it all without even thinking. Without even knowing. Your body is a temple in every sense of the word, and you are the god that resides in it. Every cell, every protein, every molecule is there to worship you - to keep you breathing - and they do it willingly. Now do you see? Your body is a work of art, all on its own.

That's what body positivity starts with. Then I think the next step (and Niina agrees) is to be happy with what you have. Love your body. Be happy with what you have, then work for what you want. Hate your moles? Well, they're not moving anywhere, and they make your skin beautifully unique, and they basically mean that a small cluster of cells under your skin has inked like an octopus - and what's not to love about that? Have a problem with your height? Well, if you're short it means you can sneak to the front of the crowd at a concert in no time at all, and if you're tall you can vault train turnstiles with ease (when did I start insinuating criminal behaviour?!), and if you're average then nearly every cute dress or pair of suit trousers will be the perfect length for you - all those things are pretty handy and every height has its own quirky advantages. Don't like your fat? Well, look at the last paragraph. Look at what your body is doing for you all on its own, and its still doing it, and you're still alive, and you're still breathing. It's doing you every favour evolution could think of. How awesome is that? It's still your amazing body. Love it. Then, and only then, return the favour, and make it a bit easier on that body of yours.

But you can only do this if your head is in the right place. Because your weight is just a number, your size is just a sticker on a hanger, and your BMI is not a representation of your health. Healthy is > skinny. Healthy is also > fat. Because no healthy person has to sacrifice anything. You can be any one of such a range of shapes and sizes and still be healthy. There is no golden weight or magic size that suddenly means you are living a balanced lifestyle. So put all that aside, and do and be what feels right. Do the exercise you love, not the one boasting of calories burnt and pounds dropped. Eat the healthy food you love, not the stuff made with that leafy green thing you don't even like or the weird sauce with reduced-salt, reduced-sugar, reduced-fat, reduced-calories, reduced, reduced, reduced to the point where it's little more than water. And don't forget your mental and social wellbeing, because they are just as vital to you being healthy (that's proof that GCSE P.E. actually taught me something, right there).

That's as honest as I can be when it comes to our bodies - I've mentioned before that we need to know the difference between curvy and unhealthy, and this is the same thing - just remember that it's unique to you, and you won't find it somewhere in a medical book. Seriously. Just do you. And please, love it.

I realised myself quite recently that I really do love my body. Yes, I'm thin, but the only thing - and I mean the only thing - I don't like about that is I can't donate blood. How annoying. But you know what? I have some pretty great legs. Great for long distance running. And I have such tiny breasts, but that means I can wear a bralet and look great as well as being comfortable. I'm so pale that I came home from holiday and didn't look tanned (which I definitely am!) but pale skin + dark hair = red lipstick looks awesome, and red lipstick is now my trademark. I have insanely curly hair that is a nightmare to control, but you wouldn't believe how soft it is, and I always feel a little smug when I walk past a hairdresser with the astronomical cost of their perms in the window.

So do you see? Every body is unique, and each one is beautiful. I wouldn't even call any of those things flaws, because they are exactly how I was made to be. I love all of them. And this gave me the courage to post some photos to the hashtag #FeelingMyself. Because I'm not ashamed of my body and I don't feel the need to hide it (no jokes about public indecency, thank you! I'm not that confident). Normally I might have even changed into a prettier bra and put on my lipstick, but no - I was so happy with the way I looked that I didn't even bother.

 

I am proud of that body. Don't say it's because I'm skinny. Don't say it's because I'm tall. Don't tell me it's because I'm pretty. Because I know - it's because I'm strong. Because I can play the sports I love, I can sing from deep in my belly, and I can laugh until I get a stitch and then carry on laughing some more. This body is the greatest vessel I could ever ask for, and I am so happy to live here.

I truly hope that you can say the same.



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